Amateur Poker Night

Good God.

I played some cards last Friday, as you know if you've read my post below. I call it cards, because it by no stretch of the imagination can be called "poker." The night was donktastic, and the cards just didn't fall my way like you need when playing against a table of loose, poor, and often overaggressive drunktards.

We were playing 8-handed. To give you a picture of how much these guys knew what they were doing, I had to deal more than a few stupid ideas and house rules.

Stupid Idea #1: Let's play a cashout game... but we'll raise the blinds every revolution.

WTF?!? What type of idiots want to raise the blinds every 8 hands? And while playing essentially a cash game? At this point, I looked around for the exits, only to realize that I'd hitched a ride from my friend. Mistake numero uno. With that call, I had literally no outs.

Stupid Idea #2: Declaring small, inconsequential dealer mistakes worthy of taking all the cards back, reshuffling, and redealing, despite how much longer this takes. Inevitably, the dealer f*#$s up when a bunch of drunktards get together and play "Pass the deal." For example, someone just got knocked out by shoving 2nd pair in a 6-way pot on the flush card (no, that's not even the worst part). The next hand, the dealer accidentally deals out 7 players instead of the 6 remaining. You'd think we'd just take his cards, which nobody's seen yet, and put them under the deck, right? No such luck, despite how I tried to reason with them (I don't know why I even tried logic), and I have to muck my KK, glaring daggers at the rest of the idiots.

Stupid Idea #3: You can't keep raising back and forth in NL Hold Em'. This "ruling" came about because two people got into a minraising war. Someone heard about the Limit hold em cap and decided that it applies to the NL hold em game, too.

So even though I ended up losing $10 to the donkage going on, I felt lucky that that was all that happened, because I was mega-tilting, through the roof inside, due to the combination of the stupid ideas (there were more, trust me), getting sucked out on the river by the guy calling my turn all-in with a gutshot vs. my set, and running into a set vs. my two pair against an aggrotard, and then some poor play that resulted from the tilt. Knowing how badly I can play, especially when alcohol is involved, I really didn't do too bad. No shoving vs. the stations, although I definitely played too loose against a table where you saw 6 to the flop in any raised pot. $10 was letting me off easy.

Still, some good came of the situation. I've got a few new, bad candidates for my own poker game, with actual poker rules and tournament structure. I'll definitely make up for what happened.

Unless their idiocy is contagious. Because if it is, then I'm doomed.